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Monday, 11 June 2012 06:32

Can Muslim Women Marry Non-Muslim Men? Yes We Can!

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This summer I will be conducting a nikah (Islamic marriage) of three Muslim women to three non-Muslim men. This is a threshold in life that should be nothing short of beautiful, blissful and spiritual. But for all of these women finding a qazi, an Islamic officiate who would marry them is virtually non-existing—In America there is a team of five men and women who offer such services. Sadly, for many Muslim women, the decision to marry a non-Muslim man causes internal family conflict, trauma, deep sadness, and even pariah status.

“It is bad enough you’re marrying a non-Muslim and now you have found a woman qazi!!” Notice the common thread here in restriction of women.

Also notice, that in all the Muslim schools of thought there is no ruling that a woman cannot perform nikah. And of course, the ultimate defense for women qazi is that not a single line in the Quran dictates that a qazi should be a man. That’s right, it doesn’t exist.

An Islamic marriage, the nikah, is a contract. In America it looks like a pre-nuptial agreement. Yes, 1500 years ago the Quran mandated a pre-nup to protect women in marriage.

The contract can stipulate whatever the woman wishes in this married relationship. It could be that she requests no second, third, or fourth wife for her husband. She could request the right to work outside the house, the conditions for a divorce, etc. It also stipulates the mehr (dowry) the woman receives from the groom. Both partners with witnesses sign this contract.

The mehr has become a materialistic opportunity in an Islamic marriage with lavish clothes, jewelries and nauseating extravagance milked from the potential groom. The mehr is not supposed to burden the groom financially. The mehr are items, a gift that will remain in the procession of the woman no matter the outcome of the marriage. It can be a Quran if she so requests.

The marriage of Muslim men to non-Muslim believers is clearly outlined in the Quran but no such thing exists for Muslim women. The only framework for an Islamic marriage—note I said Islam, not Muslim—is that individuals need to be of sound mind, of age, and the woman needs to consent to the marriage. Any deviations from these three requirements are a distortion of Islam. Obviously these conditions are hardly adhered to in many so-called Islamic nations.

In many societies where Muslims are minority, there is a shortage of the availability of Muslim men. The men marry outside the faith because they can and finding a bride from the home country fits in nicely with cultural traditions and family expectations.

The women in the west tend to be highly educated, in many instances over-achievers. Marrying a man from the home country—a man who is most likely to be less educated, and who expects a docile and subordinate woman— well, that is simply not going to happen!

There is a ‘funny’ solution floating around in some communities—allow for polygamy.

In other words, women are expected to put up with misogynistic men, marry them despite character flaws, simply because they are Muslim?

What does an interfaith nikah look like? I recite a Quranic verse in Arabic, read the English translation, incorporate poems about love and the union of marriage. Sometimes couples include personal vows they recite to each other. Sometimes it has a more inclusive tone with acknowledgment and language of the partner’s non-Islamic faith tradition. After the, “I pronounce you husband and wife,” the marriage ends with the signing of the marriage certificate and contract. Usually, that would signify the end of the service and the beginning of an enriching married life.

Unless, of course, some alpha-male relative decides to show up at the end in jeans and t-shirt to validate the marriage with his version of the same Quranic verse I had already recited.

Islam was meant to be liberating, especially for the oppressed and especially women. 1500 years later we are still struggling to claim what are duly our rights. Our cultural practices have over-written the Quran. It is time for us to pry back the patriarchal hand that continues to hold women down. Come on my ummah, wake up!

If you are interested in a more in depth justification for the right of a Muslim women to marry non-Muslim men, there will be a lecture by Professor Khaleel Muhammad of San Deigo State University at the American Islam Speakers Series at Loyola Marymount University (Los Angeles) on June 16th, 2012. For more details, please visit: http://mpvusa-la.org/events/american-islam-lecture-series-can-muslim-women-marry-outside-the

By Ani Zonneveld, Aslan Media Columnist
*Photo Credit: Avangard Photography

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+5 # Dr Qais GHANEM 2012-06-11 14:13
Dear Anni Zonneveld:
I want to congratulate you on this initiative, and even more so on this article, which will stimulate some heated and necessary discussion on yet another taboo subject in Islam.
I have tried to defy these taboos in the form of fiction, as you will see in my 2011 novel FINAL FLIGHT FROM SANAA, and my 2012 novel TWO BOYS FROM ADEN COLLEGE.
MPV is doing the right thing by pushing the envelope and challenging dogma. It does take guts to break through, but once you do it, I have found that there are many people who agree with you, but have been too afraid to say so. Cudos!
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-2 # Mr Alan Mason 2012-06-11 15:07
:-x http://wp.me/p1gBEp-yA
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0 # Sameena 2012-06-11 17:50
So glad Ani is on the Aslan media team! Really enjoying her articles.
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+3 # muslim Brother 2012-06-11 19:10
This is called fitna....innova tion in religion.
Just because Ani is married to a athiest does not mean that she misguides everyone. She is playing Islam for her benefit.
One should not hurt her parents as Jannah (heaven) is under the mothers feet, which most of these muslim women do. Mikah is a contract and shadah is mandatory and morever no where in Quran it is mentioned that this type of marriage is allowed.
Islam is foremost about Belief.

No wonder according to latest statistics 50% of such marriages fail and another 25% are unhappy one.
Ani....is just misleading people in the name of progressivness.
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+1 # Tony 2012-08-11 12:14
"no where in Quran it is mentioned that this type of marriage is allowed."
My understanding of Islam and the Quran is that is if it is not prohibited then it is OK, common sense presiding. Equally, it does not state in the Quran that marriage to a non-muslim is not allowed. Your logic is flawed.
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+4 # Abdullah 2012-10-25 22:17
“Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.” (Al-Qur’an, 2:221) Please keep your non-sense to yourself and don't encourage young muslimah's to make the same mistake you have made.
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+2 # Ali-Imran 2012-11-08 04:58
Quoting Abdullah:
“Do not marry unbelieving women (one who has no belief whatsoever in God), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.” (Al-Qur’an, 2:221)

Dear Abdullah
Please keep your non-sense to yourself and don't encourage young muslimah's to make the same mistake you have made.


Thanks :)
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+2 # Halima 2013-10-29 15:09
@ Abdullah

You should keep your nonsense to your self too then. Any verse of the Quran is subject to interpretation. And people interpret differently and therefore have a different understanding. You are the one who is misleading by forcing people to conform to your misguided beliefs. Ani is not forcing anybody and the muslimahs of the world, are sane and capable of thinking whats best for themselves. We certainly don't need you or anybody telling us what we can or can not do. We too can read the Quran. You need not worry.
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+2 # Sarah 2013-11-12 14:07
Anyone who recognizes that there is only one God is a "believer" in the quran. Idolaters are those who worship other multipule gods/false gods.
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0 # MyOwnOpinion 2013-11-13 10:39
There are no slaves nowadays... I don't believe Qur'an was written for the modern days. Women can hold their own now and don't even need med to conduct their daily business.
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+2 # Ali-Imran 2012-11-08 04:55
Dear Tony,

Perhaps your logic might also be flawed. An example, You agree to marry a non-muslim as long as it is not prohibited and stated in the Quran. In this sense and under these conditions you have set for discussion, I will be correct to state that Allah Knows Best - hence - every other word other than the word of Allah is second best - hence - your word is not valuable at all as the word of Allah is final.
Here is Allahs word - “Let there be no compulsion in religion. Truth has been made clear from error. Whoever rejects false worship and believes in God has grasped the most trustworthy handhold that never breaks. And God hears and knows all things.” (Quran 2:256).
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+5 # Ellen Keim 2013-01-28 08:06
Quoting muslim Brother:


No wonder according to latest statistics 50% of such marriages fail and another 25% are unhappy one.
Ani....is just misleading people in the name of progressivness.


It almost sounds as if you are wishing divorce on such couples. Muslims should be about strengthening marriages, not condemning or disparaging them. I am a convert of 3 years who is married to a non-Muslim. I was told after my conversion that I had to divorce him. We've been married for 11 years and he is the kindest and most supportive husband I can imagine. To divorce him would be a travesty. I did pray about it but couldn't find any justification for artificially ending a strong and happy marriage. To me that would be against all that Islam stands for.
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+4 # Brother 2013-08-22 23:57
Salaam sister..
Keep praying and continue to ask Allah for guidance... don't make any hasty decisions, be patient, and ask God to show you the way.. These Internet forums are filled with opinions of people.. Inshallah, everything will be ok :)
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0 # This world 2013-10-17 07:19
No wonder? I wonder why I struggle to get an Islamic divorce. I wonder why my request has been declined because "incompatibilit y is not enough grounds to divorce"
Islam does not allow room for divorce because it does not allow room for a woman to express herself. The repercussions that she will receive from family, ex husband to be and reputation is often too traumatic for her to follow through with. Divorce in Islam means losing your family, children and shun in the community... yeah.. I wonder why it so happens that Muslim women don't divorce in unhappy marriages. THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED.
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+1 # Daniyyel 2014-01-24 11:47
50% of marriages fail because women have become wiser and men have to learn to cook too.
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+3 # Ani Zonneveld 2012-06-11 22:58
muslim Brother,

Marriage is a contract. Correct. So which part of my article did you not understand?

Fact: you have to prove to me that you are right because your position is not stated in the Quran. When people go on a personal attack it is because they don't have facts on their side.

I don't 'play' Islam. I live it.
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-1 # Ishaq 2013-10-05 04:21
Please see this link. (The proof is in the pudding)
http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=2267&CATE=10
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0 # Ani Zonneveld 2012-06-11 23:01
Thanks Dr. Ghanem. What has been amazing is how people try to shut down the conversation. I'm not sure what they fear....
Ani
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-2 # Abdel 2012-09-24 19:16
But I know what they fear: everything that is against islam or a threat to it. According to islam, enemies of islam must be killed or, if not possible, forced to shut up.
Shows once again how weak islam is. A religion that is threatened by open discourse has no merit and is weak. It can only survive by threats - which is what we see every day when we watch the news.
I have no respect for these islamic nazis and it seems like you have quite a few commenting here..
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+21 # farhad khan 2012-06-12 00:36
Yes it is Fitna , trying to change the religion in the name of reform is FITNA.
The statement that " In many societies where Muslims are minority, there is a shortage of the availability of Muslim men" is absurd. I live in the US and I hear these kind of excuses from some of the people all the time.its like saying that we can't find Halal meat in super markets , SO is it Ok to eat Haraam meat ? of course not. Everything is clear in Quran and Hadeeth.
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-3 # Tony 2012-08-11 12:23
If everything were clear in the Quran (I ignore the Hadeeth as the Quran does not stipulate that an amendment is acceptable, therefore any additional scripture should be seen as blasphemous) then there wouldn't be so many disagreements among Muslim scholars, etc.

And there are situations where it is acceptable to eat so called haram food when no halal food can be obtained. A person cannot be expected to starve if one cannot obtain halal food. Equally, a person cannot be expected to stay lonely or without companionship if they cannot find a Muslim husband or wife. Equally, one should not settle for someone just because they are Muslim. We should all be allowed to choose who we marry and that person should be the best for us, whether Muslim, non-Muslim or an atheist.
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+1 # farhad khan 2012-08-28 05:30
[quote name="Tony"]If everything were clear in the Quran (I ignore the Hadeeth as the Quran
The term I ignore Hadeeth reeeks ignorance on your part. There is no Islam with out either Quran or Hadeeth.So don't try to push your personal twist into this discussion.A hadees is not an amendment if you can understand the difference.I have lived in the US for over 20 years and I can tell you that there is Halal available to everyone on the face of this earth . If you do not find Halal meat , does not mean that you go on eating haram meat or pork. There are many other things available that are halal, like vegetables, sea food etc. People like you just want an excuse to eat or drink whatever you like without showing some effort to find Halal. similarly, there is no dearth of good muslim men anywhere. BUT, you probably want a diluted version of muslim men that would be willing to bend or twist Islam to your liking.
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+1 # Tony 2012-09-02 14:26
Why do you presume I am a Muslim? I am an atheist so I eat and drink what I want. ;)

"There is no Islam with out either Quran." The Quran is the word of god, so why does Islam need the Hadith? Are you saying that god got it wrong so the Islam needs additional scripture to clarify its meaning? This is why I ignore anything but the Quran, and I mean that in a non-religious sense. I approach Islam from a neutral viewpoint meaning that I don't accept the Hadiths as relevant simply because most Muslims do. The Hadiths, in my opinion, are human interpretations of what Islam should be (ironic coming from an athiest perhaps, but I'm coming from the fact that all Muslims accept the Quran as the word of God as conveyed through Mohammed), and this compromises the true meaning of Islam. The fact that Sunni and Shi'a disagree on what exactly constitutes the hadiths proves my point. How many Muslims disagree on what should or shouldn't be in the Quran? I'm guessing not many.
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+4 # hothefah 2012-11-16 13:28
Tony you dont believe in the Quran in the first place. You believe you know more than Allah and that your opinions are better than Allah's knowledge of everything.
You said: "no where in Quran it is mentioned that this type of marriage is allowed."
My understanding of Islam and the Quran is that is if it is not prohibited then it is OK, common sense presiding. Equally, it does not state in the Quran that marriage to a non-muslim is not allowed."
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+1 # hothefah 2012-11-16 13:29
Alhamdullah to this user
#Abdullah
“Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Quoting hothefah:
Tony you dont believe in the Quran in the first place. You believe you know more than Allah and that your opinions are better than Allah's knowledge of everything.
You said: "no where in Quran it is mentioned that this type of marriage is allowed."
My understanding of Islam and the Quran is that is if it is not prohibited then it is OK, common sense presiding. Equally, it does not state in the Quran that marriage to a non-muslim is not allowed."
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0 # hothefah 2012-11-16 13:30
also:
Let there be no compulsion in religion. Truth has been made clear from error. Whoever rejects false worship and believes in God has grasped the most trustworthy handhold that never breaks. And God hears and knows all things.” (Quran 2:256).
This article is a joke and those who go against the Quran have left Islam.
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0 # Ali-Imran 2012-11-08 05:12
Dear Farhad,
Anything that harms the mind of humanity is FITNA. Technically Islam is about peace and love, anything said that goes against peace and love is un islamic and hence reforming the religion, this too can be called mass FITNA and I guarantee to that it is greatly denied.

Allah is Perfect Love, no one is perfect. If one can understand this statement one has become a muslim. This is logic too and I don't see it harming or hurting anyone. I cannot speak for the egoistic ones ......;)
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-1 # farhad 2012-11-08 11:33
Quoting Ali-Imran:
Dear Farhad,
Anything that harms the mind of humanity is FITNA. Technically Islam is about peace and love, anything said that goes against peace and love is un islamic and hence reforming the religion, this too can be called mass FITNA and I guarantee to that it is greatly denied.

Allah is Perfect Love, no one is perfect. If one can understand this statement one has become a muslim. This is logic too and I don't see it harming or hurting anyone. I cannot speak for the egoistic ones ......;)

Your logic has no relevance to this subject matter. Please read my initial comment carefully
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+13 # Soraya Deen 2012-06-12 15:08
I look forward to being there, Insha Allah. Being a Muslim does not require me to give up my right to inquiry. There are many practices that have been assimilated into the sociology of many Muslim countries. We must go deeper to understand the unchallenged, uncritical interpretations . If complete submission to the interpretation of the Quran is a criteria for faith, then it can be said that ignorance is my faith. As a Muslim I am mandated to READ (Iqra). I think following Islam is not following its followers. I am also looking for Brothers and Sisters who when they hear the words TERRORIST and VIOLENCE by one, will stand up in the hundreds to say, "Islam is Peace."
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+3 # Tony 2012-08-11 12:26
You are a rarity. A Muslim who truly understands the philosophy and the message of Islam, and not someone who follows the cultural deviants within Islam. Well done my friend.
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-8 # Abdel 2012-09-24 19:20
Sorry, but you are brainwashed or as master at deception. We all know islam is not peace. It is only peace once the last kuffar stopped to exist. If you are as well read as you claim, you should know that. No need to spread taqiya here, we as muslims and ex-muslims all know what the goal of islam is.
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+1 # she 2012-12-12 19:46
How do you consider yourself Muslim if you don't believe the the Glorious Qur'an is Gods instruction guide for mankind and jinnkind? Do you believe there is one Great Creator of Heaven and Earth, all there in, above and below? I was not born into Islam, but as It was important for me to do my own research so I knew it was not brainwashing. To learn Arabic, even if it is one word at a time, will bring goodness and truth together for you ,but you must be sincere. Good luck to you on your path
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+4 # Usman Ansari 2012-06-12 17:01
Dear Anni.. I'm an American lawyer, so I've studied Western jurisprudence. A cornerstone of legal interpretation is that if something in law is explicitly stated, and something else that is closely related is not mentioned, then it's implicitly excluded by the writer. Islamic doctrine is simply jurisprudence.. Hence, it is referred to to as a code of Muslim conduct (i.e. law!). Therefore, your own statement is instructive as to the propriety of your thesis (The marriage of Muslim men to non-Muslim believers is clearly outlined in the Quran but no such thing exists for Muslim women.). God wouldn't have left out such an important idea and yet have spoken on the point for men. Anyhow, it's each person's life and they answer to the Almighty..not us simple fellow humans.
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-1 # Abdel 2012-09-24 19:24
And who says the Quran is god's word? As a lawyer, you should be someone looking for evidence; so where is the evidence regarding the Quran being god's word?
Considering all the mistakes in the koran and the many different versions, everything tells me the Quran is not god's word. Its only purpose was to keep the followers of a warlord called Mohammed in line by creating a personality cult by claiming he was chosen by god.
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+1 # she 2012-12-12 19:27
Resistance is part of being human. When you overcome your resistance to read the Great Qur'an with sincerity of heart and soul you will see evidence everywhere. "The Complete Idiots Guide to the Koran" is very helpful if you are too shy to ask questions. You will be able to determine for yourself. I could tell you more if I could spell, God be willing
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0 # Ali-Imran 2012-11-08 05:34
Dear Usman,

As a converted muslim, I have been advised to read the matters of the holy Quran through feelings and insights as it is considered the best way to interpret the Quran. I have spent 5 yrs contemplating on the holy Quran and never once have I felt that the Holy Quran is about Law, Infact, all the fears that exist in the holy Quran are there for us children of God. Metaphorically speaking its like a mother telling the child behave and sleep or the Bad man will come. Its a way to discipline ones self. I guess I have been misled, whats your advice on this.
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+1 # Abdusslam 2012-06-12 18:42
Dear Ani,
Just because you married a non-Muslim does not make it right for you to twist the teachings of Islam to accommodate your lifestyle. In our deen, we don't go by personal opinion or desire but by the teachings and tenets of our faith that conform to Quran and Sunnah. I have noticed many times that you always try to reinterpret Islam to accommodate your lifestyle and own opinion. Sorry, but you can't do that. The Quran is very clear about Muslim women NOT marrying non-Muslims because the children have their father's last name and are raised in his faith (exceptions don't make the rule). Even Muslim men are NOT supposed to marry non-Muslim women unless two conditions are met: 1- She is of the people of the book (Christian or Jewish) and, 2- She's pure (not having had sexual relations outside marriage). Obviously, the second condition can't be met in our day and age, therefore, Muslim men are also forbidden from marrying non-Muslim women.
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+4 # Ali-Imran 2012-11-08 05:44
Quoting Abdusslam:
Dear Ani,
Obviously, the second condition can't be met in our day and age, therefore, Muslim men are also forbidden from marrying non-Muslim women.


oooopppppsssss Abdusslam, I spotted an opinion here from you. Your claim of purity is physical, sexual and derogatory to the word "Purity". The Deen sees "Purity" through the innocence of the heart and humility of the mind. I am a converted muslim and this is a one of the core competency of becoming a muslim scholar as told to me.
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0 # Dr Qais GHANEM 2012-06-13 05:49
Mr Abdusslam: re your points:
1-"Sorry, but you can't do that" Why can't Ani interpret a rule according to her own knowledge?
2- "because the children have their father's last name and are raised in his faith" - Why should children be able to carry their MOTHER's name? Sometimes the father is a rapist or unknown.
3- "..the second condition can't be met in our day and age.." So you, yourself, just made an interpretation to keep up with the changing world. Why can Ani not have the same right?
4- "She's pure (not having had sexual relations outside marriage)" - pure could be in spirit NOT non-virgin. My mother tongue is Arabic, Which ayah says what you implied?
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-6 # Usman Ansari 2012-06-13 06:01
Quoting Dr Qais GHANEM:
Mr Abdusslam: re your points:
1-"Sorry, but you can't do that" Why can't Ani interpret a rule according to her own knowledge?


Fair point, but the idea is that scholars who have expert knowledge of Shari'a have already interpreted the rules. Look, I'm a big believer in the "no compulsion" idea in Islam...which is why, with respect to folks like this Author, Asra Nomani, Irshad Maanji, et al, that feel this incessant need to validate their life decisions by utilizing irrational interpretive methods, I do take strong exception. Not from a religious perspective, but from a humanist one. If you don't want to follow Islam, don't. No one cares. God is the one that judges in the end, so do what you want and answer to him. Perpetuating, however, what the overwhelming majority of practicing believers feels is heretical, will get you nowhere.
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+1 # Usman Ansari 2012-06-13 06:05
Quoting Usman Ansari:
Fair point, but the idea is that scholars who have expert knowledge of Shari'a have already interpreted the rules. Look, I'm a big believer in the "no compulsion" idea in Islam...which is why, with respect to folks like this Author, Asra Nomani, Irshad Maanji, et al, that feel this incessant need to validate their life decisions by utilizing irrational interpretive methods, I do take strong exception. Not from a religious perspective, but from a humanist one. If you don't want to follow Islam, don't. No one cares. God is the one that judges in the end, so do what you want and answer to him. Perpetuating, however, what the overwhelming majority of practicing believers feels is heretical, will get you nowhere.


I should add... it will get you nowhere, BUT it is a lucrative business, as the aforementioned (excluding the Author) can probably attest to.
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-4 # Ani Zonneveld 2012-06-13 10:25
Abdusslam, Usman Ansari, Why is it hard for you folks to stick to the facts and not get personal? I will address it because I will not let you slander me. There are female Islamic scholars who are married to non-Muslim men but because of the traditional interpretations they live it quietly. It is not just lay people like me. I myself have been private about it for a very long time, and for the record I am married for 23 years. So this is personal. As I've aged I am the older woman who feels I need to speak up for the younger women who go through hell just because of some CULTURAL practices that is completely NOT Quran sanctioned.

Usman, your note about it being a lucrative business shows a lot about your mean-spirited niat.
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+8 # Abdusslam 2012-06-13 13:27
Ani, the trouble with you is that you want to twist and change Islam to accommodate your own life choices and to answer Usman Ansari, no Islam is not a matter of "Ani's personal opinion" it's according to Quran and Sunnah and interpretation of learned scholars ONLY and Ani is not a scholar. I know you stand for gay rights, and most likely support gay marriage, so it's really pointless to even argue with you because your morals are not even Islamic. My advice to you is leave Islam alone, and live your life the way you want, don't try to reinterpret Islam to suit your wayward lifestyle and warped ideas. You are no scholar, not even close to even having your opinion matter in Islamic affairs. As the Quran says, and it implies well to you, "and if you listen to most people on this earth, they will lead you astray from the path of Allah." Ani, you are one of those people.
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+5 # Teddy3indc 2012-06-13 14:00
Many of the comments, this write up, and the opinions of the persons are based on a few things, which to me are "assumed" by all to be the same but clearly are not.

For instance, the idea of "religion" and the notion of "Islam" are clearly different. I will not go into detail why, but I will, Inshallah, tell you how it changes with me.

In my personal opinion, based on the Qur'an alone, the definition of Muslim is in the Qur'an and the believer would aspire to marry someone like them. IF they are following the Deen (not religion) then they would follow these instructions. Not to marry an idolator, and to be with someone that upholds righteousness and justice is what is required.
6/14,9/41,10/18,10/66,17/111,18/26,18/38,18/110,24/55,40/12

If these men are by the definition of the Qur'an not disbelievers, and if these women choose them, then they are fit. We cannot sit here and say that they do not have the right to make that decision.
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-1 # Ani Zonneveld 2012-06-13 15:29
Quoting Abdusslam:
You are no scholar, not even close to even having your opinion matter in Islamic affairs. As the Quran says, and it implies well to you, "and if you listen to most people on this earth, they will lead you astray from the path of Allah." Ani, you are one of those people.


Since when is Islam just for scholars? That's the problem with Muslims like you. You don't want to think for yourself. And I will practice Islam and continue to identify myself as Muslim. By judging me you are playing God.
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0 # Ellen Keim 2013-01-28 08:23
Saying that we have to obey scholars is like putting them above Allah. If we're not supposed to think for ourselves then why should we pray, make du'a, or ask for Allah's forgiveness and guidance?
I converted to Islam because I wanted to have a closer relationship with the One True God, not so that I could be judged for everything I do and found wanting.
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+9 # Seeking_Jannah 2012-06-14 01:45
I am gobsmacked. What exactly is going on with Islam in the US? Is this the Islam Nabi Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) taught and lived?

"And whosoever does not judge by what Allah has revealed, such are the Faasiqun (Transgressors) " [5:47]
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-3 # Mohammad 2012-06-14 20:01
A very insightful article, I will share this with my sisters.
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+3 # Scott Reilly 2012-06-15 07:34
Dear Ani,

Firstly, very nice article as it's always nice to hear news of any interfaith co-operations, marraige or otherwise.

I'm curious as to whether you extend this service to non-believers. As you say here: "The marriage of Muslim men to non-Muslim believers is clearly outlined in the Quran but no such thing exists for Muslim women."
But considering the Quran holds relentless scorn for people like me, I'm wondering if I could marry a progressive Muslim woman who, although comfortable with my not believing in God, wanted an Islamic wedding.

Many thanks,

Scott
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+1 # Scott Reilly 2012-06-15 07:55
Ah, no need. I just read in another comment that you're married to an athiest. That's great to hear.
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-3 # Shahla 2012-06-15 20:14
Great article Ani. You are a great inspiration.The re is no express prohibition on Muslim women marrying non Muslim men, only a prohibition on Muslim men that they must either marry Muslim women or People of the Book. Everyone is supposed to marry "believers". That patriarchy has infiltrated all faiths is blasphemous and we must stop being afraid to to step up and do something about it. This is not about being heretical its about taking back Islam. Allah - She loves us all. www.mpvottawa.com
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0 # Ali 2012-06-16 12:48
Very basic rule in Islam. If a person belies or rejects what is commonly known to be a part of Islam, then the person commits kufr (disbelief).

The Qur'an states and all the Muslims thru the centuries know that the Muslim female is not allowed to marry other than a Muslim male. If the person rejects this, then they have rejected Islam.

These apologists/Hypo crites have invented their own ideology and claim that it is Islam. In reality, such teachings have little or nothing to do with what the Prophet Muhammad actually taught.
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+1 # Tony 2012-09-02 14:37
Your approach to Islam is not only counter-intuiti ve to Islam (and hence blasphemous), it's counter-intuiti ve to common sense. To be a true Muslim you don't follow what other Muslims do. You strive to understand the Quran and therefore the religion of Islam, and then you follow it to your understanding, not how the Islamic culture you happen to live in deems fit. The Quran puts great emphasis on knowledge and understanding and never intended people to follow a shifting trend. That's mere indoctrination my friend. I see many people misconstrue cultural practices as Islamic ones. God gave you a mind, now use it!

p.s. I'm an atheist, but I'm playing devil's advocate above because I presume that you believe in God. Hope that's clear.
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+1 # Ani Zonneveld 2012-09-16 16:14
Pretty good Tony! Many Muslims and many followers of a religious tradition tend to follow blindly and logic gets thrown out. As a Muslim I don't understand this, especially it clearly states for Muslims to read, analyse, to not follow the traditions of our forefathers blindly. And when Muslims like me advocate what the Quran clearly states, WE'RE the innovators! Go figure.
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+1 # she 2012-12-12 18:00
please, if one uses something the Quran states,then a sura need be present so we may all read
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-2 # Ani Zonneveld 2012-06-17 11:54
Quoting Ali:
Very basic rule in Islam. If a person belies or rejects what is commonly known to be a part of Islam, then the person commits kufr (disbelief).

The Qur'an states and all the Muslims thru the centuries know that the Muslim female is not allowed to marry other than a Muslim male. If the person rejects this, then they have rejected Islam.

These apologists/Hypocrites have invented their own ideology and claim that it is Islam. In reality, such teachings have little or nothing to do with what the Prophet Muhammad actually taught.


Actually, you are wrong, and the traditions we are practicing is not Islam. It is cultural. People like you need to learn to extract CULTURE from ISLAM. Hundreds of years ago women were properties of men. When they married they left their tribe and traditions to join the husband's. Honestly do you see a Muslim woman in America joining someone else's tribe, religion? Women are not so weak. What is weak are men like yourself who need to protect the powers you have on who a woman marries. IQRA. READ.
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+1 # Ani Zonneveld 2012-06-17 11:55
Quoting Scott Reilly:
Ah, no need. I just read in another comment that you're married to an athiest. That's great to hear.


Incorrect. Agnostic.
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0 # Falcon 2012-06-19 10:52
I would like to share an opinion from a Muslim scholar on this subject... http://www.scholarofthehouse.org/oninma.html
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+9 # Seeking_Jannah 2012-06-19 21:29
For the Muslim/ah who binds their life to one who rejects Allah and His Anbiyah, there is much to consider. Ya Allah. May we, the Muslimeen & Muslimaat and the Mu'mineen & Mu'minaat seek life partners who will help us attain Jannat-ul-Firdo us, insha'Allah. Just because someone identifies as Muslim and does something that is against Islam, doesn't make it an acceptable form of Islam. Ilm is sadly lacking. A sign of the times.

The Day their faces will be turned about in the Fire, they will say, "How we wish we had obeyed Allah and obeyed the Messenger." [33:66]
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0 # Ali-Imran 2012-11-08 05:57
Quoting Seeking_Jannah:
For the Muslim/ah who binds their life to one who rejects Allah and His Anbiyah, there is much to consider. Ya Allah. May we, the Muslimeen & Muslimaat and the Mu'mineen & Mu'minaat seek life partners who will help us attain Jannat-ul-Firdous, insha'Allah. Just because someone identifies as Muslim and does something that is against Islam, doesn't make it an acceptable form of Islam. Ilm is sadly lacking. A sign of the times.

The Day their faces will be turned about in the Fire, they will say, "How we wish we had obeyed Allah and obeyed the Messenger." [33:66]


Fear is nothing but Lack of Love
The remedy for Fear is perfect love
Allah is Perfect Love
Perfect Love is the Atonement
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0 # she 2012-12-12 18:05
THANK YOU
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+2 # Ridwan 2012-06-20 02:16
SubhanAllah. If a Muslima marries a non-Muslim man, she has left Islam. Heck, there is even a scholarly opinion that states that it is makruh-i-tahrim i for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslima.

What's next, the Sunnah endorses pornography? I love how these people who are totally unreligious go about interpreting Deen.
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0 # Ani Zonneveld 2012-09-16 16:15
Whatever.
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0 # Ali-Imran 2012-11-08 06:00
Quoting Ridwan:
SubhanAllah. If a Muslima marries a non-Muslim man, she has left Islam. Heck, there is even a scholarly opinion that states that it is makruh-i-tahrimi for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslima.

What's next, the Sunnah endorses pornography? I love how these people who are totally unreligious go about interpreting Deen.


Scholarly opinions always end with "Allah Knows Best" when it has come to this subject matter. So, you say that there is a writeup, but nonsense is also clever covered in opinions :)
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+4 # Ridwan 2012-06-20 02:21
I absolutely understand the feeling of dissolusionment with the Muslim community, but when we Muslims (male or female) cannot find a suitable Muslim partner, we must be patient and explore other avenues of finding a such a person.

There are plenty of good mates within the Muslim community in this country, one must simply strive and ask Allah for assistance.
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+2 # Abdel 2012-09-24 19:30
So you are a racist against non-muslims and justify it with your religion? Just pathetic.
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0 # she 2012-12-12 18:57
Race has nothing to do with seeking a mate who has similar values. To be on the same page is necessary for greater relations.
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+7 # Seeking_Jannah 2012-06-20 18:14
The first ayah of Surah At-Tawbah pretty much SUMS IT UP!! Since we are claiming Islam is our Deen and Allah is our Rabb, we've no choice but to acknowledge that Al Qur'aan Al Kareem is the unabridged and indisputable word of Allah. No amount of rationalizing makes right what Allah has declared wrong. Seriously, do we really wish to trade the Aakhirah for the dunyia with haraam relationships? Atheists, Agnostics, Polytheists, whatever. It is ALLAH's approval we seek, not kudos from the Kuffaar and the Mushrikeen. They cannot give us Jannat. THAT, is Allah's prerogative alone. SubhanAllahi wa alhamdolillahi wa laa ilaaha illallaahu wa Allahu Akbar. May Allah save us from the fires of Jahannam.Ameen

بَرَاءَةٌ مِّنَ اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ إِلَى الَّذِينَ عَاهَدتُّم مِّنَ الْمُشْرِكِينَ

[This is a declaration of] disassociation, from Allah and His Messenger, to those with whom you had made a treaty among the polytheists.
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+6 # Deyana 2012-07-08 08:47
I am 28 years old and have been searching and searching for a suitable muslim man for many years but to no avail. I dont want to lose my chance of being happy and having kids simply because i couldnt find a man whos not muslim. Im now widening my options. Most muslim men are very hypocritical anyway and would ideally prefer a non muslim girl so why cant we? If i keep on looking for this 'dream muslim' who doesnt exist then im going to stay single for the rest of my life . Am i bound to marry a muslim man simply because he will raise our kids as so called muslims but he can be arrogant, controlling and abusive and look for other wives? If thats so I withdraw my faith in muslim men. I trust my faith in Allah (swt) and will still raise my children as muslims and no muslim hypocrite can tell me otherwise.
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+4 # Jade 2012-07-11 01:19
Deyana, please, dear Ukhti, do not lose your faith in finding a righteous and pious Muslim husband. Everyday, you and I and every Muslim man, woman and child have a standing invitation to speak with our Rabb and come to Him in both thanks and in askance. ASK Allah to bring you the happiness you seek, but always remember that you serve Allah so be pleased with what he blesses you with. NEVER EVER settle for some jerk just because he's Muslim. That's pure and utter nonsense. Know that you are worthy of a good mate and that just because he is Muslim does NOT mean you should put up with unhappiness, poor treatment, etc. The same would apply in ALL religions, cultures,nation alities, etc. Non-Muslim men aren't less likely to be jerks, so don't let the dunyia shape your Aakhirah. I shall keep you in my duas, Ukhti, that Allah bless you with a mate who will help you seek Jannah.A mate who worships with you,has love for our Nabi(SAW) and treats you with love and respct, insha'Allah. :-)
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0 # Jawaher 2012-07-29 14:11
Is it true that a Muslim woman can marry a non-Muslim ?because as far as I know in Islam, this is not possible but the other way around is, when a Muslim guy marry a non-Muslim. So, I am confused here. Some women might do that but as per the laws, this is not permitted unless he converts to Islam.
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-4 # Noor-Ali 2012-08-03 21:21
Dear Ani,

A mushrik is one who is a disbeliever, in this sense anyone who disbelieves in God is not allowed to marry a muslima. In accordance with the Quran I think it is perfectly correct as it would tear the family apart. Shirk is another element, it implies polytheism, but then again, most muslims worship their knowledge, themselves and materialistic goals more than God. So muslims are in essence non-muslims and I guess a large portion of the ummah would have their marriage null and void. The last is the people of the kitaab or kitaabi's. I am a Christian who is about to marry a muslima, this is not because I am in love, it is because I have found that one muslima who is a true muslim. It is better to marry a muslima for they show the way better than a muslim. Islam is peaceful, it is the interpretations , semantics and scholarly advise that makes it appear otherwise. Keep up the good work.
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+1 # Ani Zonneveld 2012-09-16 16:18
Noor-Ali You are one of those folks who can look pass labels. You are a small 'm' muslim, a believer, and that's why you recognize it in others. Peace greetings to you.
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+1 # Austrailian Ali 2012-08-11 01:57
A liberal muslim is not a muslim. period. just admit your a kafir atheist, but don't pretend what you are doing is what God wants.
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0 # Ani Zonneveld 2012-09-16 16:19
Australian Ali...why do haters like you use fake names when they post?
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+3 # Mehran 2012-08-27 13:34
What a joke, Ani herself is married to a non believer and look she is teaching other to grow her tribe.......A marriage between a Muslim woman and non-Muslim man is invalid. The relationship is viewed as fornication. For the marriage to be valid, the man would have to state the Shahada (the Islamic testification of faith), after which they would have a new ceremony.
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-4 # Ani Zonneveld 2012-09-16 16:21
Mehran, Something tells me you're very tribal.
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+1 # Daniyyel 2013-10-05 06:33
Dear Useless,

Quoting Mehran:
What a joke, Ani herself is married to a non believer and look she is teaching other to grow her tribe.......A marriage between a Muslim woman and non-Muslim man is invalid. The relationship is viewed as fornication. For the marriage to be valid, the man would have to state the Shahada (the Islamic testification of faith), after which they would have a new ceremony.


Adam and Eve fornicated and from thereon all invalid muslims came into being as there was no Shahada at that time.

What a joke

According to you, you just did a Kufr on yourself.

Now why would you do that to yourself.
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-2 # Ani Zonneveld 2012-08-27 14:32
Here's a lecture on this subject matter by Islamic professor Muhammad Khaleel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Kcp2W9V3C4
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+1 # Rozine 2012-09-01 21:03
Isn't it interesting when you hear muslim bigots calling another muslim words like `kafir'. How dare you! You have NO right. Shame on you. No one but Allah has the right to pass any judgement on humans so just fricking get off your high pedestals. Im sick and tired of religious nut jobs who try and enforce their 7th century tribal Islam on us all. Get a life and let others live their life.
Ani: I salute you. You are an inspiration to ME and MANY other muslims. Keep fighting the fighting. May Allah bless you in this Jihad.
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-1 # Ani Zonneveld 2012-09-16 16:22
Appreciate the encouragement Rozine! :-)
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+8 # nana 2012-09-07 18:43
You don't need qazi to marry to a non muslim because Muslim woman can not marry to a non Muslim until he convert to Islam if someone likes to marry to a non Muslim without covering to Islam than they don't need nikah because they are not fallowing Islam they can get marry in court or church.
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+1 # salam 2012-09-12 07:47
how much are you being paid in compromise to from faith and principles. Surely you are materialistic that is why you are leaned towards unIslamic things. Islam will prevail and true Islam will appear very soon on world stage, the new world order is actually Islamic order.
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+1 # Ani Zonneveld 2012-09-16 16:25
I get paid $0. Oh yes, the Salafi dream of an Islamic world order. How are you going to achieve that Salam? By peaceful means or shoving it down peoples' throats, or by killing those that protest against your ideology?
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-4 # Salam 2012-09-22 06:54
You are hypocrite, trying to impress your white skin counterparts, what have you got a mere citizenship. Now everyone can understand why do not, people like you put effort in removing roadblocks in muslim unmarried girl's marriages to muslim men, rather you would spend time in marrying muslim girls to non muslims. What a disgusting efforts you are putting in society. Lanati
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+1 # Salam 2012-09-22 06:59
Oh sorry forgot to mention that you do looti marriages also, I think you had not read Quran properly yet, have you read the Surah Lut, if you had than you would not dare to mingle with such unislamic and antisocial practices, that harms society through various diseases. So that's what your efforts toward society.
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+5 # Ahmed 2012-09-20 13:25
No no no, muslim women she can not in any way marry with a non muslim men, you can not change which has came from sky! or you are muslim or it is Not, you are completely free.
Such a marriage is considered totally void, with that, the muslim woman commits a sin and breaks the limits of allah and her children they go to be treated as children of adultery. this is the islam.
How you can change or modify or even reform what came from the creator?, if you do so, surely you will come out with something has nothing to do with the islamic faith.
Islam was made by allah while political or philosophical doctrines and human sciences been made by the human being who has limited mind and will remain always with this limited mind, while allah is the expert the sapient the knowing the Wise.
Allah almighty say: and mankind have not been given of knowledge except a little "al israa-85".
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-1 # Abdel 2012-09-24 19:36
Welcome back to the stone age.
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+1 # she 2012-12-12 18:47
as the Quran is good guidance for humankind from Allah, who are we to play modification? If one wants God to be closer to them, they must follow Gods word to be closer to God. Its simple
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+3 # Ahmed 2012-09-20 13:27
Islam is not a human science, Islam is not a politic or philosofic doctrine to be put to the desire of human voluntary changes.
Allah almighty say: and mankind have not been given of knowledge except a little "al israa-85".
There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion. The right course has become clear from the wrong. So whoever disbelieves in Taghut and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold with no break in it. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing "albaqara-256.
Salamun ala almursalina wa al hamdu lillahi rabbil alamin...Peace on senders and praise be to allah lord of the worlds.
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-4 # Abdel 2012-09-24 19:02
Wrong, islam is nothing but a politic or philosophic doctrine.
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0 # she 2012-12-12 18:35
as God wills, you may know the straight path Insha-Allah
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+7 # Zainab 2012-09-20 14:52
As-Salamu-alayk um sister,

In the Quraan it doesn't say that men can simply marry any type of non muslim, it says explicitly that it can only be a jew or a christian.

And about muslim women..."And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al Mushrikun (Polytheists, pagans, idolaters, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allah, those who worship others along with Allah, and also those who set up rivals with (or partners to) Allah.) till they believe (in Allah Alone)” (Al-Baqarah: 221)

That pretty much says it all...

Sister, it's very bad to lead others to sin, if these are your opinions, then keep it to yourself, what you are saying is untrue, you only have to read the Quraan to see that. What your claiming is bid'dah (innovation). Do your research before posting up things like this, which may influence people.

I hope I haven't offended you.
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+1 # Zahira 2012-09-20 17:33
One does not have the right to change and preach wrong things for his her own personal gains or for her own personal deeds. Qran 2 221 is very clear that it forbids women to marry non muslims. I know you can argue over the interpretations . Then it have been interprtated by the best of scholar over 1000 years. I also saw the comments and it clearly shows the people who support you are either athiests, christains or women who have married outside.....Ple ase do NOT do the sin of justifying your experiences in Quran and mislead people...you are just supporting the athiests, Agnotics and Islam haters or do you dont have the guts to agree that it is outside Islam?
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-6 # Abdel 2012-09-24 19:01
Well, you say it yourself" islam forbids women to marry non-muslims. Which is why islam is so intolerant and hateful. A religion which looks down on infidels does not have the right to exist in a civilized society. So maybe you should take your hateful views back with you to the country you came from.
Good bye.
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0 # Tony 2012-09-25 14:03
"...it have been interpreted by the best of scholar over 1000 years". Not all scholars agree on the interpretation of the Qu'ran. That is exactly why there are so many sects within Islam, Sunni and Shi'a to name the most common. There has never been one accepted interpretation of the Qur'an and to suggest that is foolish and lazy. It is not up to other Muslims to tell you how to live like a Muslim. It is every Muslim's responsibility to understand what it means to be a Muslim. The Qur'an does not need scholars to tell you what it means. That is following the word of others when you should be following the word of god, the Qur'an. You are accusing Ani of misleading people. Did you ever stop to think that most Muslims and scholars are misleading the Ummah? Who says that these people are right? Has god given the authority to these 'best scholars' over 1000 years? Think carefully about what you think Ani is doing and ask yourself is it any different to what any scholar you accept has done?
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0 # Ali-Imran 2012-11-10 06:34
The best scientist using logic and facts alongwith observations and calculations still learn even though according to them they know the facts are absolute. Islams forefronters use science as a premise to explain the validity of scientific knowledge in the Quran. Most of what you know is an interpretation on what was told to you by a scholar who has no way but interpreting and talking........ So interpretation is key to learning otherwise there will be no following only reading. Seek knowledge says Islam....even if you need to go to China, this was told to me by a muslim.
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-4 # abdifatahahmed 2012-09-21 21:30
you women are not muslim not following allahs word
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-5 # William Pearson 2012-09-23 00:43
Pathetic. You're making this up yourself without even consulting your Muslim priest.
Look at yourself. Your not wearing a scarf. I have much respect with the Muslim community. I've come across this issue once. It's just not permissable for a muslim woman to marry a caste. Just how the man will take care of her in terms of her faith and other things related to life, since her religion just so contra to her husband.
You need Muslim priest to guide you inside out. Or just make yourself a new Koran.
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+1 # Tony 2012-09-25 13:47
There are no priests or equivalent within Islam, only scholars. There is no authority in Islam but that of Allah. I now that and I'm an atheist. ;)
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0 # Tony 2012-09-25 13:48
Sorry, I should have said "I know that..." not "I now that...".
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0 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-03-28 23:56
William, sorry, there's no priest in Islam, and the Quran dictates that we interpret, read it for ourselves. Now, you and many other wanna-be Muslim Popes are dictating otherwise. Please read my latest column, "Sunni Islam should just get a Pope!"
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-6 # Abdel 2012-09-24 18:57
I am always amazed how ignorant muslims are when it comes to islam and women's rights. I still don't know if it is willful or not.
In your article, you state that "Islam was meant to be liberating, especially for the oppressed and especially women".

Nothing could be further from the truth:

Tabari IX:113 "Allah permits you to shut them in separate rooms and to beat them, but not severely. If they abstain, they have the right to food and clothing. Treat women well for they are like domestic animals and they possess nothing themselves. Allah has made the enjoyment of their bodies lawful in his Qur'an."

Qur'an 4:11 "Allah directs you in regard of your Children's (inheritance): to the male, a portion equal to that of two females.... These are settled portions ordained by Allah."

There's plenty more like this I cannot post due to the limited space here.
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+4 # Tony 2012-09-25 13:46
Sorry, but I don't believe you are an ex-Muslim as you state in your post below, simply because you have quoted falsely. Tabari IX: 113 says: "Allah permits you to refuse to share their beds" with nothing about beating or imprisoning women or treating them like animals. Furthermore, even if it did, Tabari IX:113 is not from the Qur'an and is not widely accepted amongst Muslim scholars or common-Muslims alike.
Regarding Surat An-Nisā' (The Women), the Qur'an was revealed in a time where society was largely patriarchal, so of course inheritance is heavily weighed towards the male members. You have to consider 2 things:
1) the men generally took care and provided for women and children, so it would be logical to give greater inheritance to the males
2) modern-day, there is nothing stopping Muslims from writing a will contrary to this Surat, especially when many woman have careers. It is merely a guide, not a pillar of Islam. No compulsion.
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-1 # Abdel 2012-09-24 19:12
Ani Zonneveld,

if it sounds like I am attacking you, I apologize. I wish there were more muslims like you. But if you look at above comments, I doubt islam will ever be able to reform. Islam doesn't not allow tolerance and open mindedness; which is why I left islam and finally feel free and able to accept non-muslim people for who they are. No more 'they are worth less because they are kuffar' in the back of my head. God would want all his children to be equal, but islam denies that to people.
I feel extremely empowered since I became an apostate and would never ever go back (my little sis did the same more recently and we are both very excited about it!). I feel much closer to Buddhism now than anything else.

Please keep up the good work.
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0 # Tony 2012-09-25 13:18
"Islam doesn't [sic] not allow tolerance and open mindedness;". I think your issue with Islam is rather an issue with some Muslims. The problem with these people isn't that they are Muslim or even religious, because my guess is that they'd behave the same no matter what religion they practised and even if they were atheist. The problem is with the people themselves. Many Muslims don't understand their own religion and that means that they are easily led to believe that Islam is something that it isn't. And because of this many people view Islam with disdain and suspicion, and many people (often girls & women) brought up in a Muslim household or within an Islamic state become apostates. But the issues are often nothing of fault with Islam, but with how it is practised. Islam has the potential to do good and make the world a better place, but it fails because it's in the hands of people who either don't understand it or who exploit it to gain power over others. By the way, I'm an atheist
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0 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-03-28 23:54
Tony, spot on. Its the people. Problem is when that is your community then how and where do you even start. Fortunately in America we can but still, its not easy.
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0 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-03-28 23:53
Abdel, honestly I don't blame you for leaving Islam. The faith has become unrecognizable thanks to its practitioners.
Peace to you and your sister!
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-1 # yahya 2012-10-23 15:20
the quran forbids this type of marriage
Allah says in the Quran

They are not lawful (wives) for the unbelievers, nor are the unbelievers lawful (husbands) for them

Quran 60:10

And Allah has also said

Nor marry (your women) to unbelievers until they believe... (Al-Baqara:221)

read the quran with your eyes open next time and gain the full knowledge before you start giving out rulings on what is halal and haram
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+1 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-03-28 23:51
Yahya,

Muslim men are getting really defensive about this!!! You should. Because if Muslim men had character, honesty and integrity we wouldn't be looking elsewhere.

AND, who are the believers? Just Muslims? Why don't YOU read with your eyes and HEART open. Because a believer as in muslim with a small 'm' IS a believer. THAT is in the Quran. It is Muslims like you who have made it into an exclusive club. Because men like you believe you ARE God.
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-1 # Iqra Bhatti 2012-10-24 11:41
Thank you Ani for this article. I am glad there are so many strong spirited and intelligent women like you out there. I wish we had more of this and less of the ignorance that is being spread everywhere!
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+5 # Alhashimy 2012-11-02 23:23
“Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.” (Al-Qur’an, 2:221)

Observation: How long has it been since the Quran was first revealed (2012)?
Not 1500 years but 1445 years and that explains the lack of knowledge of this author regarding islam.
Laa hawla Wa laa quwata ela be Allah.
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0 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-03-28 23:47
Unless you don't understand what you cut and paste...This verse obviously dictates exactly who a MAN should marry.

You left out the number of days and hours...Oh, yes, can you tell me when the Quran was compiled? Didn't think so.
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0 # salman 2012-11-03 01:20
why people think only men are forerunner of any religion? why can't women spread religion and kept their religion?

who gave this right to men that children would have to follow their father's religion? we, men are so biased and hypocrite.

I think, humanity is more important than religion or God as this life is the blessing of God so we should respect of every human being whether one is believer or nonbeliever. Religion is only a system, a system to maintain harmony among people but instead for that, most of us misunderstood the basic point of religion and create ruckus and tumult, spread hate and violence.

I think everyone need to introspect for a moment and ask his soul not mind or heart, that am I following the right preaching of God? because soul can't be corrupted and wouldn't lie to you.
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+5 # salman 2012-11-03 01:45
can anyone gave the following answer?

who has made men the forerunner of any religion?
why can't women spread and kept their religion?

why children have to follow their father's religion not mothers? Most of men are biased and hypocrite; many of us wouldn't like to put himself in place of a woman.
we only want to preach, dictate and not like to follow.
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0 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-03-28 23:44
Men made men the forerunner of religion. You see it in ALL the religions even in Buddhism.

If I may say, I find many Muslim men to be very weak in faith.
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+5 # salman 2012-11-03 01:46
if something bad happens, most of us would say it is god's will but if a girl loves someone (whether believer or non believer), we forget about the above sentence.

I think religion is like a system to maintain and spread harmony among people. As God's best creation and blessing is human life so we should respect his will and treat every human being equal (believer or nonbeliever, men or women).

let the God decide what he want. Men don't have to decide, we only have to follow so follow.

the fact is when we change our position and try to dictate, we only spread hate and violence not love.

I wish a sense of wisdom prevails
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-2 # A concerned Muslim 2012-11-05 01:24
Hi Ani, have you considered this verse(24.3) in the Quran and asked yourself , how many non muslim men commit zina before marriage? If you knew about this verse, have you informed your Muslimah clients about it.

The fornicator shall not marry any but a fornicatress or idolatress, and (as for) the fornicatress, none shall marry her but a fornicator or an idolater; and it is forbidden to the believers(24.3)

A recent study showed that the majority of Americans commit premarital sex (zina). Here is the link
http://www.publichealthreports.org/issueopen.cfm?articleID=1784
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+2 # Ali-Imran 2012-11-10 06:27
[quote

Quoting A concerned Muslim:
Hi Ani, have you considered this verse(24.3) in the Quran and asked yourself ...........


Dear A Concerned Muslim,

Zina is a human act. Just because the word is in Arabic and spoken amongst the Sunnah does not classify it as a muslim or non muslim act.

Ofcourse a fornicator must marry a fornicator, how else will a fornicator know that his or her fornication is damaging and hurtful to someone who does not fornicate, it is about being sensitive and not religious in feeling.

Allah claims no compulsion in anything, however, A believer could deceive themselves into seeing sex as a medium of happiness or might attempt to tempt themselves, execute the act and then go on to blame Shaitan just because the want to experience the act and convert it to an addiction. All I can understand from the verse is Allah bringing this knowledge to us.
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+1 # A concerned Muslim 2012-11-17 23:46
" not classify it as a muslim or non muslim act"

I never said Zina is a non muslim act. I shared with you results of a research study( did you view the link?) which indicate that the majority of American have pre-marital sex.Its not my opinion its FACTS!!.

"Ofcourse a fornicator must marry a fornicator"

So you agree with me, a chaste Muslimah should not marry a non Muslim man who has committed pre and extra martial sex? Unfortunately for Ani's argument, most non muslim men in the US commit pre-marital sex.

"A believer could deceive themselves into seeing sex as a medium of happiness"

A Muslim sex addict will feel guilt/remorse for his/her actions and will repent .A Muslim who marry's a polytheist/forn icator is committing zina but he/she believes that the marriage is 100% halal and does not repent for his/her actions.This is a big difference.
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0 # Ali Imran 2012-11-18 00:44
[quote name="A concerned Muslim"]" not classify it as a muslim or non muslim act"

I never said Zina is a non muslim act...........

BTW.....If you research the world countries, you would notice that where money is a central object of worship, your definition of fornication is applied, does not even spare the holy lands. So, its wise to understand the situation and not condemn every religion other than Islam into it.

I agree that a fornicator must marry a fornicator. Your classification of it being a chaste Muslimah is not the conditions under which I define a fornicator. This could be an endless discussion and its best to leave you with how you define acts and life as a whole, if it keeps you happy, so be it.
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0 # A concerned Muslim 2012-12-01 19:52
"you would notice that where money is a central object of worship, your definition of fornication is applied, does not even spare the holy lands"

As you said before, zina is a human act. Just because someone lives in Mecca, Medina or Al Quds that does not mean they are somehow incapable of committing zina. Its unfortunate but some Muslims do have pre/extra marital sex in holy lands.

"So, its wise to understand the situation and not condemn every religion other than Islam into it"

Brother, which religion(s) did I condemn in my previous posts?

All I said is Ani's argument for Muslim women marrying non muslim men in America is an epic failure and almost laughable to be honest with you, since the majority of American men commit pre/extra marital sex. If you do not consider that as zina then that's your opinion. Personally I wouldn't someone who commits pre/extra marital sex to marry my sister or daughter.
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0 # A concerned Muslim 2012-12-01 20:06
"Your classification of it being a chaste Muslimah is not the conditions under which I define a fornicator"

A chaste Muslim woman= a fornicator? :-x . I never said that in my previous post. What I define as a fornicator is someone who engages in pre/extra marital sex. If its a Muslim then four witnesses are required.
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0 # A concerned Muslim 2012-11-05 01:25
I believe Muslimah should not follow a scholar or a progressive Muslim blindly on this marriage matter. She should read the 114 chapters of the Quran and provide evidence from our Holy book to support her decision.But verse 24.3 clearly state that if a muslim, man or women, decides to marry someone who had premarital sex then he/she too is a zani or polytheists, depending on Allah(swt) judgement.
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0 # Ali-Imran 2012-11-10 06:37
Quoting William Pearson:
Pathetic. You're making this up yourself without even consulting your Muslim priest.
Look at yourself. Your not wearing a scarf. I have much respect with the Muslim community. I've come across this issue once. It's just not permissable for a muslim woman to marry a caste. Just how the man will take care of her in terms of her faith and other things related to life, since her religion just so contra to her husband.
You need Muslim priest to guide you inside out. Or just make yourself a new Koran.


Quoting A concerned Muslim:
I believe Muslimah should not follow a scholar or a progressive Muslim blindly on this marriage matter. She should read the 114 chapters of the Quran and provide evidence from our Holy book to support her decision.But verse 24.3 .......


If everything is dependent on Allah's Judgement, I guess your judgement here is valueless.
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0 # A concerned Muslim 2012-11-18 00:03
If everything is dependent on Allah's Judgement, I guess your judgement here is valueless.

It's not a judgement, it's more of me sharing with you a verse (24.3) indicating that a Muslim should not marry a polytheist/forn icator. And whoever does this is sinning How is this "valueless"? :o
If I said a Muslim who drinks alcohol is sinning,does this also make my "judgement valueless"?
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0 # Ali Imran 2012-11-18 08:53
Quoting A concerned Muslim:
If everything is dependent on Allah's Judgement, I guess your judgement here is valueless.


It's not a judgement, it's more of me sharing with you a verse (24.3) indicating that a Muslim should not marry a polytheist/forn icator. And whoever does this is sinning How is this "valueless"? :o
If I said a Muslim who drinks alcohol is sinning,does this also make my "judgement valueless"?

"I believe Muslimah should not follow a scholar or a progressive Muslim blindly on this marriage matter. She should read the 114 chapters of the Quran and provide evidence from our Holy book to support her decision.But verse 24.3 clearly state that if a muslim, man or women, decides to marry someone who had premarital sex then he/she too is a zani or polytheists, depending on Allah(swt) judgement."

Dear A Concerned Muslim.

This is your quote and hence I chose the everything is dependent on Allah's judgement
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0 # A concerned Muslim 2012-12-01 20:31
"This is your quote and hence I chose the everything is dependent on Allah's judgement"

And I hope you are aware that according to Allah(swt) judgement, if Muslim man or woman decides to marry a polytheist or a fornicator, then their punishment/torm ent (2.221) for committing zina will be doubled (25.68-69) unless they repent (25.70-71)
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-3 # To ani-est 2012-11-05 19:27
Dear ani i'd just like to say your are a perfect example of a person who has gone astray i feel for disturbed people like you, i think you need professional help and get some sort of medication to tackle your illness, please do not write horrible articals like this again and ruin other young womens lives, just because you cant get yourself out the shits, doesnt mean you have to drag others down with you. If you wanna live a life without morals/self respect (kufr) than thats your loss, you rather stick with your pork eating diseases (kufr)
'
I hope you see the errors of your way, good luck.
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+1 # musiqsoul89 2012-11-08 23:17
this is wonderful work you are doing love is love and knowing there are people who promote peace through love makes me feel proud and hopeful for women of today and tomorrow that make bold life decisions for their own happiness.
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0 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-03-28 23:40
Thank you musiqsoul89. :-)
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+2 # Shasha 2012-11-15 01:58
I'am a non- muslim, loves a muslim girl, and I'am ready to embrace Islam.is it then legal and permissible in Islam to marry her?
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+1 # Reida 2012-11-19 03:01
This article has left me with mixed feeling. On the 1 hand, I'm in love with a none muslim guy. Seriously in love, want to marry him one day. On the other hand, it's against Islam. So I'm perpetually destined to be lonely and depressed. I'm not a practicing muslim, I don't pray, but I fast, eat halal and carry out other Islamic obligations. I wish he would convert. Would make everything so easy. That way my parents won't disown me lol. Life sucks.
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+1 # Ali 2012-11-20 13:27
Reida,

What you should concentrate on is learning and rectifying yourself, so that you are fulfilling your duties to your Lord and avoiding sins. In-shaa' Allah, this person you care about will become Muslim. If not, you will still be brought into account for your conduct and convictions in this world. So concentrate on yourself first, and the other matters, God-willing, will work themselves out in time.
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+1 # Reida 2012-11-20 19:57
Quoting Ali:
Reida,

What you should concentrate on is learning and rectifying yourself, so that you are fulfilling your duties to your Lord and avoiding sins. In-shaa' Allah, this person you care about will become Muslim. If not, you will still be brought into account for your conduct and convictions in this world. So concentrate on yourself first, and the other matters, God-willing, will work themselves out in time.

Yeah that's right... Should work towards bring a better muslim. If he really loves me, he will love my faith and accept it and embrace it... Right? Sometimes wish life was easier, and there weren't such strict rules. I'm gonna just give him an ultimatum. No point in foolish hope ... He should find someone else.
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0 # Ali Imran 2012-11-20 13:49
Quoting Reida:
This article has left me with mixed feeling. On the 1 hand, I'm in love with a none muslim guy. Seriously in love, want to marry him one day. On the other hand, it's against Islam. So I'm perpetually destined to be lonely and depressed. I'm not a practicing muslim, I don't pray, but I fast, eat halal and carry out other Islamic obligations. I wish he would convert. Would make everything so easy. That way my parents won't disown me lol. Life sucks.


Dear Reida,

Please read the Hadith Qudsi - 1, 6, 8, 12, 17, 18, 22, 25, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37.

Regards
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0 # Ali 2012-11-20 13:24
Shasha,

it is easy for one to become a Muslim. All they need to do is utter the Declaration of Faith: "Nothing is worthy of worship except Allah; MuHammad is the Messenger of Allah" with the desire to become Muslim. there is no reason to delay this, and you don't need witnesses. After that, it would be allowed for you to marry this woman.
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0 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-03-28 23:39
Shasha, Its legal for you to marry a Muslim girl without conversion as I stated in my article but it is the culture that disallows it.
Sure you can convert, that would make it easier, but come on....its not sincere.
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0 # Tre 2013-01-16 14:26
I am a Christian man who has fallen in love with a young Saudi woman here on student visa. She is convinced that marriage is impossible between our religions. As man is spiritual leader in both Islam and Christianity, I have already spoken to invoke my beliefs on her, hence taking away what others might believe to be the biggest threat. Now I have read many things arguing both sides but what is the truth. As far as I know now, Islam does not give specifics on woman marriage pertaining to this, well, besides stuff that has overwritten Quran of course. Could somebody please tell me what is true in this case. In the meantime I definitely understand why she would believe this both growing up, and spending most of her life there, and will remain patient until we can both learn the truth. Thank you to all who help, and please refrain from any hostile words, I am already aware this is not the most saught after circumstances for life. Thanks again to the rest, God bless
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0 # Tre 2013-01-16 14:31
I AM SORRY. I MEANT TO SAY THAT I TOLD HER I WOULD NOT INVOKE MY BELIEFS ON HER. I WOULD GIVE HER THE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE FOR HERSELF.
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0 # Tre 2013-01-16 14:46
[quote name="Tre"]I am a Christian man who has fallen in love with a young Saudi woman. She is convinced that marriage is impossible between our religions. As a man is spiritual leader in both Islam and Christianity, I have already spoken not to invoke my beliefs on her, hence taking away what others might believe to be the biggest threat. Now I have read many things arguing both sides, but really what is the truth? As far as I know, Islam does not give specifics on woman marriage pertaining to subject of non Muslim men, besides maybe the stuff that has overwritten the Quran in the first place. Could somebody please help me out with what is true in this case? In the meantime, I do understand why she would believe this having grown up, plus spending most of her life there. For this reason I will remain patient until we can both learn the truth. Thank you to all who help, and please refrain from any hostile words.
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0 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-03-28 23:35
Tre,
Its not easy because Muslims have been fed on the culture that a Muslim woman cannot marry non-Muslim men. Its control. The Quran states otherwise. So what you have is an Islam that is practiced from hadith, even hadith that contradicts the Quran. Go figure.

You can tell her that in her nikah contract that she stipulate that you will not force her into your faith, kids, etc.

I wish you the best.
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+1 # Sean 2013-01-17 21:20
Hi I am a christian man and I am in love with a Arabic muslim women from the middle east. We live together in the US and are madly in love. My family loves her and she is such a marvelous queen. Her family is blind to the fact that I even exist. Her religion makes telling them like a death sentence. They don't know yet. I still need help on getting married, citizenship and getting her life stated here in the states. Maybe there is a group of individuals that are going through this same thing or a way that we can receive counsel in moving things forward. She is a dream come true
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+3 # Ellen Keim 2013-01-28 08:14
I converted to Islam almost four years ago. At the time I was married to a non-Muslim. It wasn't until after I said my Shahada that I was told I had to divorce my husband. (By some Muslims; others told me to pray about it.) My husband is also interested in Islam, but is uncomfortable with religions in general. He was very supportive of my decision to convert however because he could see how much it meant to me. He is a wonderful husband and human being and I believe that to divorce him for such an artificial reason would be a mockery of what Islam stands for. I am so tired of Muslims who want to make being a Muslim harder than it was meant to be.Thank you, Ani, for being that reasonable voice in the wilderness!
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0 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-03-28 23:31
The Muslims who are telling you to divorce your husband are idiots. These are the Muslims who believe non-Muslims are doomed to hell. I know plenty of non-Muslim and atheists who are better human beings than Muslims. Stay strong. Remember: there's no compulsion in faith.
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-4 # Khan 2013-02-16 00:14
she is a BITCH, what was a religion of her childrens???? : :P
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+2 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-03-28 23:36
Khan, you're the typical Muslim man Muslim women hate to marry. Low class.
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-2 # Mitch Taylor 2013-03-17 11:08
:lol: I am a non-Muslim man and I like Muslim women. I want to find a Muslim woman. How should I go about that?
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-1 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-03-28 23:36
Why? Got a Muslim woman fetish or something?
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0 # Tracy B 2013-04-15 14:16
Salam to all brothers and sisters in humanity,

Even though I believe in freedom of speech, I Would like to just say do not believe everything you read online.

Peace.
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0 # Amaal 2013-04-20 02:51
I had a civil wedding because no one would marry me to my non muslim husband. I found it very unfair and against human rights.

This i believe is perhaps the most hurtful experience,i no longer practice islam after my marriage.
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0 # Zaiva 2013-05-19 11:16
Quoting Amaal:
I had a civil wedding because no one would marry me to my non muslim husband. I found it very unfair and against human rights.

This i believe is perhaps the most hurtful experience,i no longer practice islam after my marriage.


I believe in Christianity and as a result respect all people. Love knows no boundaries and when you experience love you experience God. For you to realise it's wrong and then decide to no longer practice is a brave thing to do, I think many Muslim women realise it's not right, as both sexes should be equal, the but so many try to ignore it and avoid it.
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-1 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-06-08 10:11
Amaal, I don't blame you for feeling bitter because Muslims have made Islam into a misogynistic system. That is what we do at Muslims for Progressive Values. Ridding Islam of unjust practises toward women.
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0 # Dinko 2013-09-18 06:29
I am very happy you have left Islam..... Dare I say you probably never had it?
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0 # Daniyyel 2013-10-05 05:54
Quoting Dinko:
I am very happy you have left Islam..... Dare I say you probably never had it?


;-) And you must be the all knowing ...
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0 # Daniyyel 2013-10-05 06:18
Amaal,

I too married Civil as my wife could not get married to me.

I embraced Islam more after marriage because I realised the difference between the Surah Falaq and the Surah Nas. I realised the differences between tradition and Faith.

Placed one below the other, I realised the wisdom in it.
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-2 # Sss Hhh 2013-05-10 04:01
Dear sister Ani,

I appreciate your thoughts on Islam, but I feel you are committing a grave sin by marrying off muslimahs (provided they are true believers) to non muslim men. Its not right to say that this act is correct for there are no Qur'anic verses which directly quotes against this kind of marriage. But there are verses whose meaning suggest that this of course is not a valid marriage in Islamic terms. For example,
"O you who have believed, when the believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them. Allah is most knowing as to their faith. And if you know them to be believers, then do not return them to the disbelievers; they are not lawful [wives] for them, nor are they lawful [husbands] for them. .." (60:10)
There are scholarily explanations too for this matter, like that of Shaykh bin Baz Rahimahullah in his book "Islamic Fatawa regarding women".
No offense, but I just felt what you are doing is wrong. Rest, Allaah knows best for sure.
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0 # Daniel 2013-05-12 21:29
Salaams, love and peace to all

I would like to first state that I have very limited knowledge on the subject of Islam although I have attempted to practice various aspects of the religion in the past three years of my life. I was fortunate enough to encounter and share a relationship with a beautiful woman for the last 6 years, which has sadly come to a point where we are unable to be together. Personally, I made the decision to convert Islam; admittedly my initial interest stemmed from falling in love with an amazing woman. I became somewhat disillusioned in my self as to why I made such a decision. There is a common premise among the Muslim community (that I have encountered) that converting out of love is not sincere or true of heart and therefore would condemn my efforts to perhaps lust, indulgence or maybe even some element of deceit...
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0 # Daniel 2013-05-12 21:37
God knows better than I and if any of these influences were present during my conduct in this relationship I can only pray for forgiveness. Due to my personal circumstances I started feeling bitter and frustrated towards the constraints of the woman I wished to marry... However, I thought it would best to respect her wishes to be with a muslim husband. It is not truly what I would like to of happened but we could not keep arguing over such matters. Let's face it, if you can't see eye to eye on matters regarding faith and God (Allah) then the environment can easily become hostile and unhealthy for both parties. I hope one day if can find the strength to learn more about Islam and find my way back to her but I don't have the heart to tell her that. I didn't want to make her feel like she should wait for me incase I let her down
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0 # Daniel 2013-05-12 21:46
To be quite honest I think there is a vast amount of knowledge, love and peace in Islam but I became so intimidated by the process and generally quite weakened. I don't know if I went about things the wrong way but I all you can do is your best. Things were not coming very naturally to me so I decided that maybe it just wasn't meant to be. I actually feel very moved by the article as I have experienced it first hand. I respect what Ani is saying but I can also see why certain traditions within Islam need to be upheld. Whether or not these are cultural or religious traditions is not something I can comment on, as I said my knowledge is limited when it comes to quoting the Quran or any other interpretation such as Hadith. Inshallah, one day I will attain greater knowledge and understanding and be able to accept fully what has happened. I think it's great that so many people have commented I have learnt something new and it's interesting to hear different perspectives.
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0 # Daniel 2013-05-12 21:57
The only advice I can give from my experience is that you should never give up on love. Most of us assume we will only have one truly great love in our lives but for my sanity I must believe otherwise ;-) perhaps I am just a bit naive.

All I know is that so far in my life I have found that letting go of her has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do... But I find peace in the fact that she may find a greater happiness in seeking what she truly desires.

Apologies for not imparting any great wisdom here but I think I just wanted people to understand that we are only human and we will make mistakes. I do not regret one moment I spent with her, more so the moments I am away from her. But I can't pretend to be something I'm not... This would be a greater sin I believe
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+1 # Daniel 2013-05-12 21:58
We must stay true to who we are and respect all human beings... only then can the world be at peace. God bless all and thank you for showing passion and concern. It has been quite a revelation for me

Peace and Love
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+1 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-06-08 10:09
Dear Sss Hhh,

The question to you is, who is a believer? I assume from your response that only a "Muslim" is not a "muslim". This is the arrogance of Muslims now. The Quran is clear in its definition of a believer.

Salaam,

Ani
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0 # Dinko 2013-09-18 06:24
Yes there are many definitions in the Koran as to who is a believer....
Such as Prays 5 times a day...
Believes in Prophet Mohamed....
Pays Zakaat...
Believes the Koran is the word of God and cancels all previous revelation such as bible..

Now if you believe that then you are a BELIEVER.... (or MUSLIM in arabic)...

Its ironic that people who have to clue about Islam tend to try and teach other about it.
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0 # Daniyyel 2013-10-05 06:02
Quoting Dinko:
Yes there are many definitions in the Koran as to who is a believer....
Such as Prays 5 times a day...
Believes in Prophet Mohamed....
Pays Zakaat...
Believes the Koran is the word of God and cancels all previous revelation such as bible..

Now if you believe that then you are a BELIEVER.... (or MUSLIM in arabic)...

Its ironic that people who have to clue about Islam tend to try and teach other about it.


Dude, definitions and practices are different. You must be a kid to point practices out and call them definitions.

Allah is interpreted in English as (The God). Its kids like you that taint this beautiful religion.

For you to call a disbeliever a non-muslim lets me know your hypocritical state of mind. The Al-Falaq Surah was made for you and surely, Allah knows better.
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+2 # qais 2013-05-25 11:02
Great....i also think the case should be as stated by this article. And as long as the two creates an agreement on their differences in religion and sticks with it, the marriage wouldn't be affected and there is really no explicit verse against it. but it limits it to christian and jews.
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+2 # Shalee 2013-05-26 10:26
Hi,

Thank you so much for this article that sparked a little hope for me and my non muslim fiancé. I would really appreciate if you had any contact with a qazi that would be able to do the same in UK or France ? Thank you, so much.
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+1 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-06-08 10:04
Shalee, Please email me at . We have an MPV chapter in France and there's an imam in the UK at Oxford I believe who does mixed faith nikahs.
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0 # Karine 2013-05-28 09:40
Greetings,

First a quick summary before my question. I have known him for 8 years now and we want to get married. I'm Muslim and he is half. By half I mean his Father is Christian Greek Orthodox and his mum is Muslim. He knows about Islam a lot and follows both religions. He has agreed that if we had children they would be raised Muslims and we will have a religious Muslim wedding ceremony. He's never tried to steer me away from Islam if anything he always helps to motivate me in Islam, to read the Qur'an, pray and fast even wear a Hijab.

So my question really is can we get married? How can we go about getting married? What are the procedures.

Some sheikhs say you can marry someone who is a believer and from ketab Allah and some say no. If you know anyone in London who can help us?
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+1 # Tanveer 2013-05-29 02:21
Dear Sister Karine,

Assalam o Alekum!!

No sister, its illegal & unislamic, untill he converted to Islam 100%.
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-3 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-06-08 10:03
Tanveer, please stop giving cultural advice and pretend its Islam.
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+2 # Ani Zonneveld 2013-06-08 10:02
Karine, please skip the sheikhs and Tanveer's response below. People are confusing culture with religion. It use to be that women would adopt the culture, religious practises of the man they marry. They would become part of the husband's tribe, giving up their own roots. This:
1. Doesn't happen in our Western society.
2. It is a Jewish tradition for the woman to become part of the male tribe, which the Arabs have adopted as Islam and which we now practise.

THIS IS NOT ISLAM. WOMEN CAN MARRY ANYONE OF THEIR CHOICE.
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0 # Karine 2013-06-09 15:04
Quoting ani_columnist:
Karine, please skip the sheikhs and Tanveer's response below. People are confusing culture with religion. It use to be that women would adopt the culture, religious practises of the man they marry. They would become part of the husband's tribe, giving up their own roots. This:
1. Doesn't happen in our Western society.
2. It is a Jewish tradition for the woman to become part of the male tribe, which the Arabs have adopted as Islam and which we now practise.

THIS IS NOT ISLAM. WOMEN CAN MARRY ANYONE OF THEIR CHOICE.

Thank you for getting back to me. So what would you suggest I do?
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-1 # Dinko 2013-09-18 06:21
Karine, you say you are religious muslima...

so you obviously came accross the verse of Koran “Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.” (Al-Qur’an, 2:221)

You are not free to marry who you wish, that is clearly a BIG BUL**HIT.

Your choice dear, and there is a consequence for every choice
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+1 # Daniyyel 2013-10-05 06:10
Quoting Dinko:
Karine, you say you are religious muslima...

-------

You are not free to marry who you wish, that is clearly a BIG BUL**HIT.

Your choice dear, and there is a consequence for every choice


Yes, Karine there are consequences for every choice, and consequences are also positive.

Negative reasoning based on BU**SHIT is available in all faiths and from commentators like this "Judge" here.

To take a beautiful Surah and interpret it as low as Dinko has, is also a result of consequences from Choice.
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+2 # NASREEN HOSSAIN 2013-06-09 14:12
Hi Ani, I congratulate you for what you are doing for the rights of women.it is definitely commendable and a strong step forward.
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+2 # Farhana 2013-07-19 09:59
Thank you so much for your article, I'm married to a non-muslim man and we have two beautiful children. Your column in the only one that I saw that is respectful. Everything else is just demeaning and makes me feel like I'm wrong in being married to and having children with my husband. Everything else out there is all about how bad of a person I am and that I should, and according to everything will, go to hell.
Thank you again!
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-1 # Dinko 2013-07-28 15:12
She says "The marriage of Muslim men to non-Muslim believers is clearly outlined in the Quran but no such thing exists for Muslim women. The only framework for an Islamic marriage—note I said Islam, not Muslim—is that individuals need to be of sound mind, of age, and the woman needs to consent to the marriage. Any deviations from these three requirements are a distortion of Islam. Obviously these conditions are hardly adhered to in many so-called Islamic nations."

God Says “Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.” (Al-Qur’an, 2:221)
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-1 # Daniyyel 2013-08-05 22:44
An idiot once said, Does a baby read books on how to fall in love with its mother? It simply cuddles in her lap whether she is a Prime Minister, an actress or a vegetable seller or a washer-woman. For the child, mother is mother irrespective of the fact that others are afraid of her short temper. The child completely surrenders knowing that being her baby; she will take care of it. We are the children of God, why then should we be afraid of Him? Why not love Him as our Father, Mother, Friend and Relative?.
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0 # hager elsakkary 2013-07-31 20:51
hello, my name is hager and i am in love with a non-muslim man. i want to marry him but i'm afraid of my parents reaction. i'm living in the uae and the law here is quite strict when it comes to marriage. i am willing to travel abroad with him to marry him but i need some sort of confirmation that it is not going against my faith. i love him and i want to spend the rest of my life with him. what is it that i have to do to make it happen?
thank you
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0 # Zaiva 2013-09-17 19:33
You have to look to your own future, and if he makes you happy and you love him, you should be with him. Don't let your parents choose your future for you, you will never be happy.Do what you think is right, and never regret it. You don't have to be any religion to be a good person, as long as you respect each other, hold on to it.
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+1 # Khaleel Mohammed 2013-09-13 22:40
Always interesting to note how some people love to create falsehoods to protect what they deem as sacred, without seeing the terrible irony there. Some of you have translated "mushrikaat" as non-believers. That is egregiously incorrect. And even if you were correct, Jews and Christians DO believe in the one God. The verses you refer to were in regards to the polytheists of the area. Next: the Quran comes to a place and time: to assume that only Jews and Christians are the only other monotheistic groups is so wrong that it does not even need a rebuttal. Think about what you are saying. My congratulations to Ani and those who, like her, read scripture carefully. If your scripture...wha tever it is..makes you a hater, then you need to examine either yourself or yours scripture.
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-1 # Heath Muller 2013-10-09 17:45
I am very interested in this topic and would like to learn more. I am in love with a Muslim woman and we would like to marry. Her father is behind the arrangement, as is my family. Our concern is her country. We feel it would not be allowed (and quite possibly dangerous) for a Christian man to marry a Muslim woman in Iran. We are desperately searching for a place that would permit this. It needs to be close enough to Iran that her family could participate. Another concern(of mine) is that I do not want to hurt her religious relationship. I care deeply for her and wish her a lifetime of happiness... I do not want to harm her spiritually. Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated!
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0 # GILBERT 2013-11-06 08:22
AM IN CAMEROON .PLEASE HELP ME OUT.I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH A MUSLIM GIRL THAT I WANT TO MARRY BUT SHE CAN NOT ACCEPT BECAUSE OF RELIGIOUS BARRIERS.IS THIS POSSIBLE ?HAS ANY NON MUSLIM ONE EVER SUCCEEDED TO MARRY A MUSLIM IN THE WORLD?
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+1 # Julian Peters 2014-01-23 17:45
Whoever this women is she is not a Muslim that is for sure.

and if she is she sure is going against everything Islam stands for and the commandments of Allah. I am not condemning her actions for peace and a dialogue with other people. but her bio stinks of Kuffar.

What Real Muslim in this world would help homosexuals get married after Allah has made it clear it is strictly prohibited. something is fishy with her. and on top of that she makes music.

I am not a hypocrite as i do listen to music sometimes but only because i am a revert and i am slowly giving simple things up like that but even i know better.

Sister if you really are Muslim i will prey that Allah guides you back on the right path and that you stop these Haram things and stop promoting innovation as far as to change what The Quran and Sunnah has made clear.
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